2005-04-14, 1:28 p.m.

i think i've been feeling a bit more guilty about the recent incident than i should be.

or else its the backlash that's going to hit at some point.

i live in a small town, a bubble, disneyland, and the dating pool is even smaller, and wrought with pitfalls.

the drama is sometimes inescapable, people around you trying to make you feel guilty for something you've done, involving themselves in your business...

everybody knows, everybody knows.

...

though i made peace with the opposing party, at least with myself in regards to her.

she appeared at the bar the other night, and followed me around from table to table, as i tried to ease myself away.

eventually it came down to last call, and she approached me inquiring at to where she would be sleeping that night.

i'm not very eloquent when it comes to the "let down," and being slightly intoxicated as i was, well, i think the point was gotten across.

it didn't help that two friends of mine tried to intervene by grabbing my arms and legs and dragging me into the back room in a rescue attempt, which was well intentioned, but poorly timed.

sigh.

...

i do feel somewhat guilty. i once acted in that manner, of blatantly sleeping with people with no regard to emotional states.

a strange summer of sexual liberation for me, one i'm not too inclined to repeat.

that's partly why i moved from this town when i did...

i'm quite content here, i don't want that to change.

...

on a somewhat better note, i waited in line an hour and a half to see brendan benson, and it was quite worth it. though i haven't picked up the new album.

i also mangaged to fix the mistake on my taxes that scared me shitless, so i no longer owe a vast sum of money to the state of michigan, only four dollars, which isn't even a pack of cigarettes.

and hopefully an old friend who is coming to town to visit will call me up.

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